I've been wondering about my reasons for being overweight and not being able to stay on the many diets I have put myself through. Of course I have had success, but then I find myself coming to a plateau and I know secretly it was self-sabotaging for the sake of the unknown. I know how to be fat and live my everyday life. Being Fat, I have to be clever, and work a little harder to get from point A to point B! I have to let my personality outshine, so people can see that I'm not just BIG. As ridiculous as I sound, my fear is that I wouldn't know how to be thin and live life. Once in a while, I catch a glimpse as I slowly feel my pants a little looser and I like that I have that extra energy to focus on important people or things, that extra attention when someone says, "Wow, you look great!" It's exciting and welcoming at first, then I slip on my diet, then I'm too tired to workout. Fear of success, is that really possible? Or am I the odd one out?