Friday, August 31, 2012


Blast it all, I have been impatiently waiting for Friday and here it is... I'd like to take a moment to take a breath and release.... AHHHhhhhhhhhhhh! Nice!

You ever have those days, when you absolutely feel pretty and think you look pretty, but one glance in the mirror and it changes the way the way you feel about yourself. In fact, I laughed at myself for even thinking I could absolutely "think" I looked pretty!

What's worse ... I begin to feel sorry for my family... my poor daughter has a "big mom" or my poor husband has a "fat wife", or poor me, I have always been the "big friend"...

No one has ever called me those names, at least not to my face, but they have crossed my mind and it makes me feel like a complete disappointment. I'm tired of asking how or why and ready to start doing something about being fat!

It didn't take me a few days to get fat... It has been years and years brewing. I let myself believe that I can't take the stress or I'm overwhelmed, but when I get down to it, it's me making excuses, judging myself, and doubting me! I don't know what has gotten into me, but I am fed up with all the above!

Sometimes, being brutal, in other words honesty is a sign, and a reminder to move my ass and stop whining about being fat!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Happy New Year!

No I haven't lost my mind ... yet!

I was just thinking, I usually get so pumped up and make New Year's Resolutions, which LOSING WEIGHT has ALWAYS been at the top of my list! I need to psych myself out and regain some composure, because as I type away, I'm flailing into disappointment and losing myself along the way.

Summer has come and about to be gone. My life is flashing so fast and I can't seem to get myself to shift in the same direction! I know what I want, I know what I need to do and yet I don't make a move to go after it and I can't explain it! It's driving me crazy! As if you couldn't tell...

I have gained 10 lbs., you saw that right. A 10 lb. gain, since I posted my last weigh-in and it's unacceptable!

I feel so restless and I am tired of being tired. What really pisses me off, is that shedding tears is not going to get me where I want to be! I know I need to PROMISE myself to commit and there's no better place than here where I first started with a PROMISE to make myself healthy! I'm so #$#)*# ready to get this started... I could scream, but I'm tired of being dramatic!




Monday, August 20, 2012

Need.... Water

In need of more H2O... water if you please!

I had a better day of eating, but my water intake is terrible! What happened to me? I use to be able to gulp water like no tomorrow and I liked it. Now it's forcing me to get back with the program. Water is GREAT for my body; this I know.

I guess when I get off track I really derail from the positive path to getting healthy!

In all fairness, I need to pretend I'm still young and can cruise on by with eating or drinking whatever I want... can I say "getting older" is going to kick my ass, if I don't shape up now!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Daily Dilemia

I have been having a daily dilemia with food!

I'm my own worst enemy when I'm around food! Why can't I snap out of it?

Motivation, where is it?