Monday, May 6, 2013

Stand By Me

Ever just feel beaten? Dragged through mud? Pushed to your humiliation limits?

I feel like that!

I went into a store yesterday with my husband and this store had major security cameras at every isle. Not the best secure location to have built this store and I definitely would have not gone in without my husband, but I stray away from the point of the security cameras. I looked fat! I know. I KNOW! I am overweight! I over indulge! I am not a size 6! I have seen myself in the mirror, but I couldn't believe it was me. I was not happy with the person waddling in that security camera. I was fat. I am fat.
The ugly truth is just that... a fat fact!

When I first began this blog, I had high hopes of making a change in my life and in my weight. Motivation was strong and inspiration was amazing. That was TWO YEARS ago and if I look at it like this:    I have WASTED TWO YEARS.

Depressing? Yes.

Quitting? Shamefully it did enter my thoughts just now.

Now what?

I can either be my worst enemy or I can be my own cheerleader and stand by me.

I can also look at two years of not learning anything from myself or realizing I have come across "AHA" moments and I will fall off the wagon definitely more than expected, but changes are a comin'. I feel confident. It's going to be slow, but worth the process. I don't expect weight to drop like a fast fix for me. I'm older and I have to find my groove again. It's daunting, but I'm going to view it like a new adventure. Obvious we learn from mistakes and we build and re-route a new direction to move forward in my healthy journey.

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