Just 30 Days Left

days left til my all out "girls just want to have funcation!!!" I think we are all ready for a little vacation!

Yesterday's rant was just what I needed to get to today; if that makes any sense.

Here's a little wisdom I need ...

On A Emotional Rant

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I have just been overwhelmed. I feel like I'm in a constant panic mode and I don't know how to push the off button that has switched on inside of me!

Not to be negative, but boy life can be such a beeootch! I need to take back control. My life feels disorganized and I feel like I'm carrying tons of weight on my shoulders. I feel like quitting and throwing caution to the wind! I also feel like a freakin' worry wart!

So how do I get past all the negativity this time? I almost feel like its just not worth all the work that is not getting me any where! I'm failing!

I need to relieve this tension and I don't know how to go about it. I want to move past this now.

I want to feel confident, determined, strong, encouraged and so much more. I so ready to kick this rut's ass to the curb and push past it! I deserve the best and I deserve to give it to myself! I'm worth it, always have been!

There's no point in rummaging through all this emotional garbage; the past can't help me and the present will be future regrets if I don't get a handle on myself!

I apologize for ranting, but geez, I feel lost and I'm trying to get back on track.

It's Time

What do you do when the unexpected happens? There is no me, myself and I at that moment. Everything shifts along with all the "me" priorties. That's ok, but now everything is getting back to "normal" and I need to concentrate on me and my family!

This unexpected turn of events, just makes me realize that I want to be on the right track to live a healthy life! I don't want loved ones to worry... ever! I'm recommited, refocused and ready to get it in gear. I'm tired of repeating the same thing over and over and pretending that I'm doing something different! I deserve to give myself every thing I have to succeed. I have the tools and knowledge to move in the right direction! Now I will get myself moving; physically and mentally. NO MORE EXCUSES! I'm so through with those... excuses have never kept me on the right path.

It's time!

Countdown Continues

Day

 I'm going to keep this post positive. Yesterday I had a lazy day where I caught up on well needed sleep and enjoyed the day to myself. A little selfish, but I can't stress how much I needed it!

Today's weigh in is not good, but I know why it's up 3 lbs., and I will be glad when it gets back to normal.

I need my workouts so I can feel better! I haven't been working out and to be honest this could explained the whole moody, destructive, irritable person I am becoming again. There IS something to this working out thing!

Falling off the workout wagon is tough and disappointing, especially when it makes me feel great. Wish me luck...

Can't Compare

Have you ever done this? I use to compare myself to others all the time. The worst habit I picked up sometime when I was a kid. I finally stopped when I realized it was hurting me more than helping me. Every journey or decision is different. Some journeys have better success,  while others need a HUGE kick in the butt! Um, meaning me.

I'm on a journey and I have to get it all together. I don't want to feel like a failure every day.

Stressed

Stressed...

Biggest culprit this week. Work has been crazy, frustrating, loud and just plain insane! I don't know how to cope well with stress... if I'm not careful I could easily eat my way through this stress and that would only add the pounds back up!

Isn't that just evil? I saw this and it had never crossed my mind, until now!

I'll have to think on this and learn how to manage stress a little better. A time out for me may be the way to go.

Moody

Last night I was down in the dumps, feeling full and super miserable and to top it off, I got mother nature showing up a little earlier than usual! Mean old bat!

I'll have to be on guard during this time, I get carried away with food. I just want to eat everything in sight.

I'm still upset, I'm wondering where my competitive edge went...

I was a force to be reckoned with, now I feel like a wimp who is just whining about all the deliberate excuses to ruin my little success.

The count down continues... Day 44 out of the way, Vegas will be here before I know it and I want to be in better shape to take on sin city and see EVERYTHING this time around!

Relapse

I just need a weekend do over! I feel like I'm missing something and I can't put my finger on it!

Annaleigh and I had dinner with my mom and my younger sister. Oh boy, my sister, Tammy out did dinner tonight, it was soooo good and of course I over ate and now I'm miserable! What's the connection? Why don't I stop with one serving? It's delicious, but it's no excuse to forget to feel full and know when to stop!

I'm feeling off my game today. I started my morning and afternoon with determination and it has waned as I got to my parents for dinner.

Relapsing in mood and overeating for the day.

I hate feeling this way!!!

A Good Day

Happy to report that today I'm back on track. I feel wonderful despite the extreme craziness at work. It's a hectic Monday all in all, but I've survived the worst I think, for now.

It's easy to tell when I'm eating healthy food and when I'm not choosing the right kinds of food. I did my best to avoid soda today and have succeeded!

This is true, I'm taking little steps to get where I want to go with a healthy lifestyle, but eventually I'll get there!



Down One

Day 47 is weigh in day.

ONE pound down. I was going to beat myself up over this one pound, but I came across a picture and one pound is great!

I do need to take this to heart... it really grosses me out and it's enough to make me move my rear into gear!

(Don't have pictures to share... your welcome....my daughter used my camera and ran the battery dead with her creative inventions.)

Better Late Than Never

I'm having a late night and don't know if I'm coming or going...
Tomorrow is weigh in and yeah I am a bit nervous just because I'm having an off week!

Going to catch some Zs!

Soda Binge

Once again this morning I awoke TIRED... EXHAUSTED... GRUMPY...IRRITATED. Can you tell already where this day has gone?

Sadly, I have gone on a soda binge today. Water... didn't exist in my day AT ALL! I'm guilty as charged for not in taking WATER. I know it's the best choice for my body, so what's the excuse? I don't have one.

I was like a addict drinking my soda like it was water, such a stupid choice; a choice that I made again and again and again. Now, late this evening I'm feeling so sick to my stomach. M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E that is the only word to describe how I feel at this moment!

What do I know??? I feel like this whole week has been terrible, like a fraud! Why am I having set backs? I just need to look in the mirror and put on a stern face and gripe myself out!

"Your either in or your out!"

"I'M IN!!!"

I'm having a cowardly break down. Today I just wanted to go back to old habits and that's just leading to failing.

Tomorrow will be a better day!

Day...

not so bueno!

Could Of Been Better

Day

I'm off my game today! I have to make this post another short and sweet, have a slumber party in process and have to make sure it doesn't get out of hand.

To give a quick update, today could have gone better with my eating choices. I'm doing my best to get my water in. I'm feeling pretty drained, my energy level is at a blah level!

Dinner was not the best. I keep reminding myself, having two slices of pepperoni pizza is an accomplishment, when I'm so use to eating 4 huge slices, but at the same time, I know its a mood altering food for me. I feel bloated and uncomfortable! I didn't work out today, but I'll have to make sure I get it in tomorrow!

When did girls get so loud at slumber parties? Hmm, funny, but I could have sworn we were way much more quieter... my parents would say otherwise, I'm sure!

Short and Sweet

I'm on day...

and the only thing I can think to say is...

Off to go workout!!!

HAPPY BLOG-A-VERSARY

The count down continues.

I'm sore from yesterday's 2 mile walk. My abs and my inner thighs are sore. Interesting places for soreness from walking.

Finished having supper... talipia, sauteed veggies, and baby red potatoes. Delicious and I got full very fast not like me at all. What I have changed about my dinner routine is my dinner plate. I have been using Annaleigh's Barbie plate. Silly, I know, but it's the right size to help me control my portions. I am also measuring my oil using my teaspoon. Sounds ridiculous I know, but before I would just coat the pan and didn't realize how much oil I was adding to our food. Not all fat is good. I think this has help too.

Small changes seem to be helping and so glad to finally seeing results.

OH, I just remembered...

Happy Blog-a-versary to ME!

A year today I was inspired to begin blogging! I went in with motivation and spunk. It fizzled by hitting the frustrating road. I'm striving to figure me and my reason for being overweight/fat. Blogging became a eye opener in many ways to me. I am determined to keep going despite little success. What's important right now is that I'm not a quitter. I refuse to quit. I'm struggling, yes, but I'm willing to figure where I need to adjust my life, because I want to live a healthy lifestyle. I want to show my daughter that there is a better snack choice other than chips! That working out can be fun and pray that she'll join me in my walks! I can't lose weight on diet pills, or shakes, well I could, but doing that for the rest of my life would end in failure. I realize I need to eat to live, not live to eat! I've heard this before and it's perfectly said! This year blogging I plan on having better success and making better choices.
Here's to me! Here's to you! Let the journey begin with victory!

Guilty

Day 53 let's check it off my list!

I made a huge dinner mistake. I had a greasy burger and lots of curly fries! can you say calorie overload?

I felt so guilty and disgust as I ate it. I didn't get to enjoy it. I was super hungry and made the mistake to not think ahead to get a decent supper made at home. Afterwards I had to exercise, a 2 mile walk! I was flushed and sweaty; not a very pretty picture. Now I'm exhausted and thirsty for water.
I need to take a step back to realize. I should have eaten a fruit or veggie to control my hunger before I let it get out of control.

How about some inspirational wisdom to remind me to keep moving...

Inspired to work my rear off!

It's No Joke

I knocked my weekly weigh in day with a 5 lb. loss! No April fool's joke! Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

Oh I'm so happy right now. This is awesome, very proud of my hard work. I have to remember there will be days when birthdays or if I forget one day to pack my lunch, that it takes reminding that I need to control my portions! Portion control may be the key here, let's not forget drinking the water is another key to helping that portion control! A big glass of water to help my stomach feel full!

Like I mentioned last week, I promised a weekly picture. Not my favorite part at the end of the week, but here it is... avert eyes... always a caution!

I can tell I look very swollen last week. It looks like I"m struggling to keep myself upright. Well I guess I am! I'm carrying so much weight on my body.

Day 54 is going to be a day where I plan for the week. I'm going to focus on making lunches for the week so I won't have any excuse. I'm pumped up and ready to get that scale moving again!