Need To Plan and Prepare

This past week has been a BIG eye opener. I never knew how much I complained. I would have never have described myself as a complainer, but all week it has been wah, wah, wah... at every little thing. Mood swings just make everyone around me want to disperse and I so appreciate my Husband's patience... I'm lucky to have him! Poor Annaleigh, she's just ready to snap at her mom!

Almost every night this week I have had leg cramps! I am starting to realize how badly dehydrated I am and not getting my weekly dose of potassium is catching up to me!

So I woke up this morning and decide to change my morning routine. I ate breakfast and drank a glass of water. What I have been doing is drinking several cups of coffee in the morning at work and consider that my breakfast! Skipping breakfast is usually a morning breaker. I feel sluggish and temporarily out of order!

Today is just a new day to start over. Taking things ONE day at a time is OK. I have to remind myself of that and make adjustments. Hmmm, maybe I should break it down even farther down such as, to breakfast, to lunch, to snack, to supper! PLAN AND PREPARE! Oh this has always been a weak spot for me. PLAN AND PREPARE!

LAZY

In a word to describe me is LAZY!

I have not wanted to give any more of my time to TRYING to lose weight. I don't feel like trying any more. Working out has become nonexistent.

Blogging hasn't been a priority and a reminder that I haven't given myself a 110%!

So what now? Do I give up on me and stop trying to get healthy? Do I stop blogging and leave it to those who are much more motivated? More positive? Get results?

I just can't be a quitter!!!!

Where does this slacker reboot?

Eating Junk=Emotional Distress

I have been eating junk!

That's my confession. No difference in weight change, which would be great if I was thin and healthy before. A huge downfall is that I can feel the emotional changes with what I eat. Junk food gives me a quick high, but just as that high comes, the emotions set in quickly too. Which are usually guilt for eating all of it or disgust for eating all of it. Laziness sets in too which does not give the energy I need to play with my daughter. I get moody towards my husband. Everything  begins irritate me and I know I am no fun to be around.

Also, physical changes start up. All day long, from the minute I wake up to the time I go to sleep, my back aches. I have gone to Curves about two times the past week and it was like pulling teeth; I didn't want to do it or even take the energy to go, but I went, but never push myself 100%!

It's pitiful! I didn't gain any pounds but I did gain so many headaches along the way! It affected me in other ways and not for the better. I am going to recommit myself to starting new today!

I don't like the way I feel and body aches and worse I'm grumpy all the time. I have restarted my soda addiction and basically forgot I need to drink water. So I'm going cold turkey once again and  avoiding soda. That's my major concentration for this week. I dread going without soda, but it's a step that I need to take!

If I can, You can too...

"If I can, You can too..." I just heard these words and they came from my husband... REALLY?
How about this one, again from my husband... "You just have to try..." SERIOUSLY?

He's been changing his habits, which is great, because I thought he would have a hard time doing this, since his job takes him on the road on a daily basis. He's lost about 5 lbs in about a week. Which of course I am VERY proud of him, and totally jealous of his 5 lb weight loss, but his words stung more than just a bit!

"Are you saying I'm not trying....uggggghhh... COME ON!" That's what I said to him, but maybe, just maybe he has a point.... maybe.

Maybe I haven't been giving it my all. Just what more do I have to give? Is there anymore to give? What and where am I lacking?

Too many questions, I'm giving myself a headache.

Fear And Frustration

I wish I could say, hey I've lost  20 lbs since the last time I blogged on here, but the fact is I haven't lost anything! Oh frustration has set in and I'm at my witts end! My month on weight watchers was a no go for me. Counting points is just not for me. I truly believe if I went to meetings it might be different.

The last post in October was about my family being overweight. The days are just zooming on by and before I know it, the holidays will be right around the corner and I feel as if we will need to prepare for dooms day and this shouldn't have to be the case for us.

I'm having trouble getting myself back on track. I am apparently maintaining a three pound gain and three pound loss. This would be great, if I was at my goal weight! I'm unmotivated and feel pressure on myself to get my family involve with getting healthy! I honestly don't know where to begin! Life seems to be a little more complicated lately and I feel as I can't take control of situations and when I feel as I have no control, I feel as I might explode into a billion of unidentifiable pieces!

Maybe I'm making excuses for fear of succeeding; but who does that? It's what I want; I want to succeed and I want my family to succeed! I've asked myself these questions many times before but I don't ever have the answer. I have to delve deep into my self conscience and who knows what might come to surface.

Something's gotta give!

Overweight Problem

One of the worst things I can hear as a parent from Annaleigh's pediatrician is "She's overweight. She needs to lose a couple of pounds." These were words spoken from our pediatrician last week at Annaleigh's well check.

Yesterday, it hit home even more, when Annaleigh said "I had a bad time in P.E., Mom. I was the last one running in my class and it really hurt to breathe."

There was a quick flash back to the time I was in P.E. and I was the overweight kid running in last and trying my best to catch my breath. A repeating pattern? Have I failed as a parent? I'm really upset with myself. I'm the parent, I'm responsible for this and I don't know where I have gone wrong!

When I think back to when I found out I was pregnant with Annaleigh, I wanted my unborn baby to have the best and be the healthiest. I avoided soda. I was always on the move; walking. Instead of gaining weight, I lost about 30 lbs. Annaleigh was born and her feeding schedule was always exact and never more than she needed.  As she became a toddler, I was the mommy who refuse to give her candy or juices. TV time was limited and she LOVED vegetables.

Where did I go wrong? How do I fix this? Will she grow up to be a 35 year old woman with an overweight problem like me?

I've taken a close look at my family. This is what I have realized....

The three of us ARE overweight as a family!
We need to get our ACT together as a family!
We have NO EXCUSES for not being able to succeed as a family!

Everyone has to be on board in order for the three of us to get moving. A family meeting? It's a start.

Lost Motivation

There is a few weeks left in October and I have yet to make any goals for some time now. Of course we all know losing weight is my main goal. I am feeling lost and confused about the whole process. I am beginning to see a pattern here. Every couple of months I am going through a "spell" of lost and confusion ... I don't know what this means. If you read any past blogs, I'm complaining about losing weight being difficult, but then I say I can't give up or quit. My motivation is down! I feel my energy slipping. My workouts are non existence for about a month now due to a hurt knee.
How do I go about regaining my motivation?
I may need to post flyer's around town:

                                                          LOST MOTIVATION
If you find my motivation, could you direct it back to me as soon as possible? I'm missing it desperately!

I'll find my grove again. I know this rut can't last forever!

Back to the October goals, I have about two weeks left, give or take. I'm going to aim for a four pound loss. That's realistic for me and this may give me that renewed momentum I'm so desperately seeking!

This Is Hard

I am so tired of trying to lose weight! I'm tired of trying to watch what I eat. I'm tired of counting points, given I have only been on Weight Watcher for almost a month. I'm tired of having a hurt knee. I'm tired of losing and gaining the same few pounds. I'm tired of being fat.

That's my Sunday morning whine!

Losing weight is hard. I don't think I have ever really said those words before and maybe I have, but this time around I'm really feeling the pressure. The pressure isn't coming from anyone, but myself. The pressure to succeed with weight loss and seeing the same numbers is just devastating and truly disappointing to me.

Also, just when I think I have figured something about my weight problem, I take on a new direction. How do I succeed? I've made changes. Lots of changes, but these changes aren't enough to help me move forward.

What's my next move? How do I connect the pieces to my very own weight loss puzzle? Frustrating.

Struggle Update

I'm struggling on Weight Watchers.

I feel nuts for typing that sentence. It's not difficult. I log in my points on a daily basis and still I manage to not lose weight. I know what I'm doing wrong. I'm not eating the RIGHT kinds of foods. I have given myself the OKAY to eat what I want... whatever it may be as long as I'm logging and using my daily points.

I'm on a mission this week to figure it out. No more eating all the WRONG kind of foods. I need to up my game for losing weight. My sister has lost a total of 35 lbs in a little under 3 months and I can't seem to do that.... Inserting frustrating scream here....!!!! I'm so excited for her and totally envious! My sisters and I have been struggling with our weight for most of our lives. There comes a point in our lives when we know it's time to make a change for the better!

Another struggle I'm forced to deal with, is an injured knee. I only did two workouts this week and two the week before just because my knee is giving me problems. I don't know what to do, I can't stop working out! This is just adding more obstacles for my journey. How do I get through this without ready to throw in the towel?

Giving up is not an option!

Underestimating WW Points

Today Annaleigh, Betty(my mother in-law) and myself had lunch at Chili's. I was hungry and ready to eat. I choose to  build my own lunch combo, which entailed a delicious half California turkey club with a small amount of fries and a house salad, dressing on the side. I came home to track my meal on Weight Watchers online and OUCH! Even ordering the half size meal was still a huge dent in my points! What gives? Am I going about this the wrong way? Obviously I'm doing everything wrong; going out to have a meal is just not my cup of tea. Apparently I can't choose the best option on the menu for me.

I have to remember ... just because I'm on Weight Watchers I still have to reflect on the better choices for each day. I definitely know that I'm eating when I'm starving, which is bad, very bad! I'm waiting too long to have a meal or snack. I'm not prepared and working is ABSOLUTELY cutting into my focus time. I have to pull a plan of action together!

Where to start?

Weight Watchers?

I'm desperate! I feel like I'm trying so hard and flailing through my diet choices! Going back to work has put a dent in my plans. My active calorie diet seems a bit more demanding then I expected. I have been thinking Weight Watchers Online. I don't think I have the time, just yet, to attend meetings, but I am curious. My younger sister use to be on this program and lost a good amount of weight, but then she gained it back, which is a bit daunting for me. Counting points?

I don't need a diet, I need a lifestyle. Obviously I need something new and different. If I add weight watchers, I cringe at the next diet drama I have developed...

Weight Watchers it is... (hands clasped in prayer and teeth grinding action).

Water Vs. Soda

If you remember the last time I said I had introduced soda back into my life. The horrible addiction I had broken last September. Why on earth did I let myself get hooked on soda again? It's too sweet and I can tell how low it brings my energy level as soon as the sugar rush has worn off, which usually last for only 15 to 30 minutes.

How do I get back to drinking my daily water again? It's hard because at work just about EVERY ONE is drinking soda from the minute I get there, to the minute I leave. Talk about temptation! I know water is good for me and helps me stay hydrated, so why am I drinking soda. Uggggghhhh, the frustration! I almost feel as if I'm choosing between lovers. Geez, this is getting silly.

I know the best choice is water.

Bad Choice

I made a bad choice for supper this evening. I ordered chinese food.

I hadn't had chinese take out in a long time. I got a take out menu in the mail. (That's what gave me the dumb idea). I ordered Annaleigh sweet and sour chicken kids meal. The portion was enormous. I had to divide her meal and still all I can think is how much fat her meal contained. What was I thinking? Shame on me for not being stronger and choosing something healthier! I should have cooked at home where I had complete control over fat, salt, and portion control. I didn't enjoy my food and this explains why I hadn't eaten chinese food in such a long time.
Focusing on getting this brain malfunction in order. Take out is a choice not to be taken lightly. Obviously I didn't make the right call and completely regret our supper choice. Eating out is still not the best option for me. Someday I'll learn... right?
When I question myself, I feel confused and not so confident. I will do better with my next meal choice!

New Determination

I've started back to work and was really impress with myself when I took lunch everyday. I weighed in today and holding steady; so much better than going up on the scale and especially when that time of the month is against me.

I've decided I need to get myself in a mind-set of losing 10 lbs each month. It's a hard goal to set for myself, especially when I have been struggling with the same amount of weight since I have started back in April. I'm learning to realize when I'm hungry and when I'm not. I've added a negative addiction back in my life and that is soda. I'm not drinking it everyday, but I am losing the battle to avoid it.

I've decided a few weeks ago that in order to succeed I need to avoid a diet and live a lifestyle. Diets start us off in a new direction, but we can't live on a diet forever.

I think a 10 lb loss needs a reward system. New outfits? Perfume? Shoes? Books? New ipod? The possibilities are endless and I'm excited about them!

Another idea is a 10 lbs loss picture. I want to be able to notice changes; see differences!
Here's to getting it done!

Taming Tuesday

Yesterday was the first day of school for Annaleigh and glad to report that is was a success! And for me too, I didn't cry for too long, I think...

I'm back at work and proud to say that I have been taking my lunch to work and doing my best to decipher my hunger and trying not to get caught up with the same old routine where I snacked all day long and let daycare lunches become an awful habit! This is just day two, but I'm convince I have to take on this new lifestyle a day at a time!

Small Update

So today is a new day and I am here at my parents house. In fact, I spent the night at my parents place. We celebrated my younger sister's 30th birthday. A few drinks and we decided early on that we wouldn't drive home. I'm at my mother's desk, in my pj's writing this post with my cup of coffee and remembering the teenage years. Actually we didn't own a computer during that time ... hmmm, showing my age.
My weigh in will have to wait until tomorrow morning. I'm going to be a busy bee the next few weeks and I'm going back to work tomorrow! Finally something other than house work.... like I really do house work. Heehee. Back to school routine and putting my priorities in order for me and the family.
Ready or not... here we come! Expect a tearful day from me tomorrow, my girl is going to start 4th grade! Time is flying by so fast!

A Flown By Summer...

Technically, summer hasn't ended... but for my sassy girl the summer has flown by so quickly. We struggled to get a well rounded routine and now that we have almost figured it out. Annaleigh only has the weekend to enjoy left of her summer, but don't feel sorry for the girl. She is even more excited about school starting on Monday. (That was never me.)

My summer is also coming to an end. I begin working on Monday as well. I worked for a daycare and that ended last day of May. Three months short of being employed for four years. Working with babies can be a little crazy and I thought I had enough, but turns out I miss it a little. After all I get to usually see the firsts, like helping our babies learn to first crawl, learn their favorite song, pull up on the crib, taking their first steps, etc. Of course I have always been sure to communicate with parents and never give too much away so they can experience their own firsts! I guess I'm actually excited, but still a little hesitant, because I not sure if this is my future. I know I keep coming back to kids and maybe that's where I need to take a closer look for my future.

Another hesitant move on my part is how will I be able to keep my diet in check. I know the answer... PREPARATION, but that for me is a challenge. I'm not giving up! I will just have to rethink my situation and figure out a carefully active plan that needs to work for me!
I meant to talk about how summer was slipping through my fingers, but I have a different concerns after all. Go figure!

Happily Married

I am an officially a happy MARRIED woman! I am married to the man of my dreams. My best friend. My laughing buddy. My prince charming. I could go on and on, but you get the point. I'm simply excited with this new chapter in my life.

We got married in Las Vegas, Nevada at The Little Church Of The West on August 10, 2011.

We stayed at the New York New York Hotel.

 Our room had a hot tub and boy each of us took advantage of it!  Mark and I had our nine year old so we did our best to keep it family friendly for her. We rented a hot red camaro. I loved it. Annaleigh loved it. Mark loved it! Our first day, we drove around, picked up our marriage license, cruised the Vegas Strip. We were loving every minute and enjoying our time together. On Wednesday, we were married at 1pm. Simple and lovely and definitely stress free.... perfect!

I realized, I now have two dare-devils. Mark and Annaleigh rode the rides on the Stratosphere, Xscream, Insanity and the Big Shot... CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY!

I can't say enough about how happy I am! My happily ever after is just the beginning of my future with Mark! I know there will be ups and downs, but what will get us through is all is that I will ALWAYS be right! Kidding...  What I really mean is some of the best tools in life is learning to listen and communicate! It's a start, and think goodness we know this about eachother.

A Balancing Act

I am learning to listen to my body. I know when I have eaten too much and if I ignore the signal my stomach is putting out, I'm miserable. I also know if I'm eating the wrong kind of foods, I become lethargic, lazy and grumpy. I need to find balance.

I'll be traveling soon and I am not sure how to find balance doing this. I've never been one to go to a restaurant and choose the healthy option. I almost feel as if I'm denying myself. I think I might doing lots of research on this specific topic.

But boy are WE EXCITED about flying to Vegas! It's only a few days till I get married! Can't wait!!!!

Don't Get Defeated

I've been losing one pound after one pound these past two weeks. I have been reading blogs and looking at success stories for awhile and usually everyone is losing big numbers. Although, I use to get discouraged with the number on the scale, I'm not worried about it at all this time around. I realized I am not about to let the scale make me feel defeated anymore. Or have the scale determine how I am going to feel today, or tomorrow or for the rest of the week!

So my goals for this week are a repeat from last week... journaling and weekend workouts. I need to remember just because I have busy weeks, doesn't not mean that I have to give myself a silly reason to take a detour from my new routine that seems to be working for me and my family.

Here's a quick reminder to self:  GET IT TOGETHER GIRL!

Busy, Busy, Busy!

So this week has been busy! I'm getting last minute preparations ready for my Las Vegas Wedding. I have nine days to make sure we get everything in order. Blast me for not getting my shoes sooner. I have always been a procrastinator. I need to get me and things in order! It's getting crazy! So what I've notice is that I haven't had time to blog and concentrate on my goals for this week. My eating habits have been off this week. What I mean is I haven't been piling my plate full of veggies and fruits. I have, however, been on point with my workouts.
I should be a little better and goals will be a repeat for the week come tomorrow.

Moody Tuesday

I could bite off some heads around my household if they aren't too careful in my presence. PMS.... maybe. I could be fine one minute and the next I'm snapping to get some quietness. Of course being told SEVERAL times to calm down should get things into motion. I'm just being a cranky person! It's hot outside and I'm out of steam. I'm feeling frustrated and I should be in a good mood, instead I'm moody. I think I'll go work off some of this frustration working out. Endorphins make happy people, right?
I just need to remind myself to...

Goals

Let the goals begin!

On Saturday I had so much energy that I didn't know what to do with it. I had almost wished Curves was open on the weekends, so that I could go work it off. To get to the point, my goal will be to set weekend workouts! I have more than a few fitness DVDs to help me get with it or as a family we could use the Wii to get some activity going for us. I have that competitive edge that drives me to show off!

Next goal for the week will be keeping a journal. I'll track what time I ate, how much ounces of water I took in for the day, how I felt before I eat and how I feel after I eat. This will be to determine what gives me energy to get moving and what makes me realize when I have had to much to feel uncomfortable.

It's funny, when I was a kid I had goals. For a while as an adult, I forgot goals were a part of life. I hadn't really set them up. It's good to have rediscovered goals. It's a good reminder that goals DO set us up to reach success!

Some GOOD news

Speaking of Curves the other day, I had my measurements taken yesterday.... DRUMROLL PLEASE!

9 lbs. lost since April! (If you didn't notice... I like to hide away from measurements!)

29 inches lost all over!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! (Taking a bow.)

And although, I haven't seen much progress on my scale, I do see changes! I do believe in time I'll see that scale number go down. I just have to focus and remember that changes take time!

Curves

Curves, I've got 'em!

I'm actually talking about Curves For Women. I've been attending a little over a year now and I have had to really recommit myself into going 3x's a week. Sometimes I have to psych myself into workout mode to step through the doors, but once there... I'm giving it my all, plus some.

The employees are great bunch of girls, and the members are fabulous. It's like having a group support team waiting for you at the gym. Greetings of smiles and chatter, makes it a nice day.

What I have learned is that I feel so much better after I've had my thirty minute routine. Of course, by now if you haven't heard Curves provides Zumba. I have yet to give it a try. I'm not quite sure I can give it a go just yet, but I will once I feel confident in shakin' my booty, I'll dance away!

Let's not forget stretching at the end of my workout. I love stretching my body. A good stretch on my legs, my back, and my arms.

 It's relaxing.

Goals

I usually have weekly goals I assigned myself, but this week I'm going to focus on the family! I need to get creative... and I don't know where to really start.

Well maybe I do... focus on exercise, but the weather has been so hot! Too hot in the morning and still too hot in the evening... Mark mentioned going to the mall to walk, now that's a great idea! We'll focus on walking together in the mall where it's AIR CONDITIONED!

Family meals, would be another goal. I'm horrible when it comes to getting meals prepared. What I mean is that the main course is always done, but almost never are any vegetable side dishes made to eat. My RARE kid loves vegetables, there should be abundance of them to eat.

I'll focus my energy on these two goals for the week.

Bathingsuit Fears

Use to have them. Infact, if I could avoid going to a pool or lake or anywhere I needed to wear a bathing suit... I'd make an excuse as quick as the invitation was open to me. I have been reading a few blogs lately and some are dreading bathing suits. I'm here to say that bathing suit fears are simply silly.

Two years ago, my sister invited me and the family to go to a water park. It was family only invitation and I couldn't say no to my sister. I wore shorts and a t-shirt, played it safe. What I realized as I hide in the back, a shady spot where I could comfortably people watch is that no person there; young, thin, old, healthy, didn't have the perfect body. Thin people had dimples like me, sure it's cute if you have one on your chin or cheeks. Young people had cellulite like me. (If this sounds mean and it probably does... it was just me putting things in perspective.) The realization that came to me was I'm here in a water park, people are ENJOYING themselves and I was doing my best to avoid people by blending in the background. I realized I was missing out on spending time with my daughter and hoping this could be a memory she'd look back on where WE could survive water waves! Fears aside, blending in no longer.... I loosin up and began enjoying myself. I got wet, jumped in and out of waves and thrived at the water park.

When I got back home, I went bathing suit shopping and it was fun. I spent a lot of time picking out TWO bathing suits. These days, swim suits come in so many colors, lengths, two pieces or one piece. They look so fabulous and glamorous. My advice is simple, don't fear swim suits, it makes you miss out in happy memories with friends and families. Learning to love your body has to be a step in the right direction.

I'm enjoying the summers so much more and going to the pool is great! So, if I feel like I'm being judged or criticized... I shrug it off, because I'm not about to let some nobody I don't know ruin my family fun! They can worry about it!

Goals

I'm going to start tracking my food intake. Of course by now just about everyone has heard of SparkPeople. It's a free site and it's fill with many tips about weight loss or maintaining a healthy lifestyle. This will be a great goal and it will let me see how much calories I'm taking in daily.
Check it out!
http://www.sparkpeople.com/

Next goal on the list will be to try new healthy recipes. I have many healthy cookbooks that I have been wanting to try. Lots of food swaps or original recipe swaps using low fat ingredients to make it healthy for me and my family.

My other goal is to find out why I haven't been sleeping so good. I am a mess and I have been missing my morning walks due to this. I haven't been able to just sleep through the night. I'm not feeling stressed and I have avoided tea, because I do believe I have a reaction to tea that causes me not to wind down for the night. So my goal is to figure out this problem. It's driving me nuts. All I want is to be able to sleep when I'm tired and sleep through the night to get that morning start out of bed!

Sleeping Soundly

This is what I want... sleep peacefully without a care in the world.

Take-Charge Attitude

Since my last breakthrough session, my attitude towards my eating habits have improved greatly! This is good news for me. I can honestly say that I recognize when my stomach is full and I mean not-miserable-full. I eat when I'm hungry, which is strangely feels like I am eating a lot less. I fit in snacks, no more than two. I do my best to savor each bite. This takes patience. I am really trying to follow the 20 minute rule. After all, it takes 20 minutes to make our stomaches realize we feel full.

WE'RE AWESOME;)

I figured all this out when I headed out the door to do a girls night out yesterday evening. Usually I dread nights out like this, because to me it means:    forget the diets and give in to all the food temptations on the menu. Lets not forget the encouragement from friends to try this, or eat this, or eat more. I love my girls, but I held my hands up last night and said "I'm full." Guess what? I didn't hurt anyone's feelings by denying more food. I even left food on my plate.
It's a start....
It's my take-charge attitude, it's okay to say no!

Goals

Ahh, I need to set my goals for this week. I'll focus on sweet treats. I need to get get creative with desserts. I'm not really a dessert eater, but Annaleigh loves sweets and Mark has the biggest sweet tooth in the family. Usually when I go grocery shopping I don't even go through isles that sell forbidden sweets. I'm going to get inventive and try to get creative with healthy desserts or treats for us.

I'm going to retry a goal from last week, I didn't get to eat much seafood or fish like I wanted to, but I am prepared this week to give it another go.

Although this last goal is not weight loss oriented, it's long over do. I'm going to spend a lot of this week organizing this house. I am in serious need of getting rid of many things that aren't necessary to keep. I need a professional organizer to come take over and clean up my act!

The Diet Mentality

What's this? Am I so focused on finding the perfect "Diet Mentality," that I'm forgetting an important issue here?

To reach my weight loss goal, I am zeroing in on the perfect diet for me. I want that diet to make me reach my goal and I'm assuming that when I get thin and feel beautiful that I'll be able to solve all the unhappiness I "think" I feel about me. WRONG! What an eye opener for me. It's suppose to be a lifestyle change. Diet vs. life, I can't diet for the rest of my life. I have to be realistic.

I have been blaming my weight for a very long time. It's insane! This is why I can't do this or that in my life. I can't even remember when I started telling myself that "IF ONLY" I lose weight I'll be happier with my life. Geez, wake up Christine!

I've been letting the scale and numbers on the scale reflect my mood for as long as I can remember.
Whats even more crazy... I'm NOT unhappy! Tears are flowing as I realize this... I'm NOT unhappy... if fact, I'm so happy I could burst!

My life is almost perfect! I have friends and family that I love and love me in return. Just for being me, without judgement on my weight. I have found Mr. Right! He's perfect in my eyes; no one else could put up with my silly rants or have all the patience in the world to simply love ME and ANNALEIGH! I have future in-laws, who treat us like family! I'm very happy!

So I want to lose weight to keep up with my daughter. I can do that! I want our family to be healthy. We can do that!

What took me so long to understand this? Do we all have this moment?

Maybe, what blinds us along the way is that one moment or one person or the hurt we were put through at one point in our lives; shatters that fragile self esteem.

This is my "aha moment!" I'm sure I'll have many more in my life and that's just fine with me.

"Skinny Emmie"

Love Her! Emmie is another inspirational blog I love to read! She's passionate, honest and a woman of strength! Her blog is an open book. She doesn't seem to hold nothing back and she truly shows it in every word she puts on her blog. Emmie has lost over 100lbs.! Her dedication and motivation is catching and when I feel like I'm about to give up, I simply read her blog and it gives me the kick in the butt to snap out of it!
She's also a runner! I have never been a runner, but it's a goal of mine. She motivates me enough to tell myself that I will be a runner, someday! She runs 5K's! I will be able to run a 5K, someday!

I wish her success with her goals and journey. Thank you Emmie for being such an inspiration for me!

You can read her blog @ skinnyemmie.com

"Slimming Down For The Gown"

I have really been inspired by "Slimming Down For The Gown" blog. Whitney took a SUCCESSFUL journey to losing weight for her wedding. Just looking at her before and after pictures you can see such confidence build up in each picture. The changes are amazing! Her latest blog is a picture of her in her beautiful wedding dress.

Read for yourself!

slimmingdownforthegown.com

I wish I had started earlier on my journey, but I can't begin to tell you how Whitney inspires me to get moving and ready for my wedding day!! Thanks, Whitney for sharing your success!

Goals

One of my goals for this week is to add 30 minute walking sessions to my Curves workout. This will be a little difficult for me because I hate waking up in the mornings. I've never been Miss Happy Sunshine, always Miss Uuuggg, not morning again. I mention this because West Texas weather has been so hot and dry. I'm talking three digits just about every day and no rain. I think walking early in the morning may be my best bet to beat the heat and the sun's harmful rays.

Goal number two read a blog or vlog that inspires me or motivates me and display it here on my page. I love reading others blogs, that's how I got inspired to do my own. It was reading their successful journey knowing they had struggles and push past those rough spots to conquer their weight.

Goal number three will be to add more fish or seafood to my meals. 

This is where creativity and my love of cooking will have to get inventive. My fear is that Annaleigh will not like this one as much, but she's always been a good sport and willing to try something new. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Evil Cravings

I've been doing good with my goals. The weekend arrives and I am worried that I'll slip. Cravings will get very involved, due to that time of the month. I know that's personal... but I'm only being honest. Cravings.... I shudder at the word. I'm worried that I won't be able to fight off the cravings. I usually go for the sweet, salty, tangy, fattening foods. I've made this an issue in my own home and I don't know what to do. I'm basically arguing with my will power, and my emotions. It's an important issue to me. How do I go about fighting off cravings?

Not An Option!

I almost missed a workout today. Ever notice that sometimes things unexpected come up and for some reason that little voice that I usually can't ignore comes in LOUD and CLEAR... "Oh it's getting late," or "traffic is horrible, I'll never get there in time," or "Eh, I'll just do it tomorrow." I almost gave in to that last one, but I had to drill into my head that I didn't have a option to wimp out on my workout. Once there, I gave it my all. Big accomplishment!

Even trying counts as my workout! I broke a sweat and I felt energized... I love that feeling!

Goals

My main focus this week will be PORTION CONTROL. I have a food scale. I have measuring cups. The only tedious part will be measuring it all out. Meal after meal, serving per serving.

The next goal to focus on is to sit at the dinner table and eat the official twenty minutes. I've read that it takes twenty minutes for your stomach to recognize fullness. I've tried this before, and it does work, but what gets me is that I'm ready to eat right then and there, so I end up scarfing the food on my plate.

Goal number three will be to sit down and write daily meals and follow that schedule to a tee. I have a lot a free time this summer and I need to take advantage of it. I have been cooking our meals at home, but I need to make sure I add more variety when it comes to vegatables with our main course.

This will be a challenge! But that's what getting healthy is all about; a challenge to undo what hasn't worked before for me.

Road Trip

Ruidoso, New Mexico

We had a road trip to Ruidoso, New Mexico. We were suppose to go to Six Flags in TX but after factoring HEAT, we decided to do a quick road trip to New Mexico. It was a nice change of scenery. Annaleigh and I had never been to Ruidoso. While we were there it was 89 degrees, VERY NICE, especially when at home we were hitting three digit numbers. I was told this was not typical weather in Ruidoso, but I didn't complain. It was dry and under extreme fire danger so main roads were closed to protect the town. Mark did his best to give us descriptions on how this town was usually cooler and much more awesome.

Mark was a great tour guide!



Future Race Car Driver!

We still manage to have fun!

"Mom, enough already with the camera!"

We met a nice couple, who were from Roswell, NM enjoying lunch and took our picture together!