Remember When

Sidetracked...

How does one get back on track? Somewhere along the way; years later, I have traveled all kinds of paths, only to realized I have come right back to the same place I began.

It's time to up my game.

How does one go about breaking bad habits? I have yet to figure this one out, but I guess this is as good as a time to figure it out for good!

I remember when I was in my teens .... OH NO! (...not one of those memories) this just reminds me of how much older I am becoming with a 40th birthday coming in November.

Continuing on with my ancient story...
I owned a sticker that has always made me feel unique, ballsy I might say.
It was just a one word sticker....

FEARLESS

 

I want to remember that unique ballsy feeling as I enter this weight game again. This reminds me of those people who said "I can't" and I want to show them I CAN!

 

I want to prove to my own self that I can finally do this and get healthy!



 



Change Accepted

Just a little persuasion, if you will.

A moment of clarity.

I am feeling fearless.

No explanation needed when I'm feeling this awesome.

I don't know what it is, maybe it's the hot weather, maybe it's the acceptance of being simply me, maybe it's the appreciation of the smallest of enjoyment. Whatever it is... I'm ready to step into my weight loss adventure with renewed vigor. I'm tired of the stalling or waiting for the "tomorrows" that are always put off until tomorrow. I'm inspired and in need to PROVE to ME that I can get where I want to be... healthy. I'm ready for change.

If you remember not to long ago, how I have feared change and cringe at the thought of it. Well I'm up for the challenge. If I don't accept change, everything and everyone will move into the next part of their lives and I will forever be left behind wishing alone. I'm embracing the change in my life. It's been unexpected and there is no running away, but to enter head on and know that I am stronger than I think. I have hit road bumps, jumped through flaming hoops, even riding emotional roller coasters, but still I manage to fight and forge on pure hope, faith and trust.

Emotional Wreck

"I get knock down, but I get up again!" Chumbawamba song... how many times does a person have to feel like crap in a lifetime?

I was doing great! I was feeling energized! I was feeling happy!

Was in past tense.

To bring you up to date... I'm full of anger. I'm full of hurt. I'm full of disappointment.

The Emotional Roller-coaster is on nonstop speed and trust me there are highs and lows and loop-da-loops, but I WANT OFF NOW!

The thing is I know why... at the end of June... I will have been separated from my soon to be ex-husband, a year. Since that day life has been a string of unwanted emotions. All I want to do is make peace with myself for feeling like I failed as a mother and wife. I want to make peace with the man I thought was my husband and a father to my daughter. I want relief from all these emotions that seem to sneak up on me at a moments notice.

I want to feel like I did a few months ago... great, energized, happy, where are those emotions?

I know ... they are lurking inside of me. I'm in need of Margaritaville, and even as I think about how nice that would be, I refuse alcohol until these hostile emotions leave me.

I've always known I was a passionate person, but I never knew how overpowering my emotions could over take my normal sanity. I fight everyday to keep from exploding in anger.

I refuse to give up that small spark of hope left inside of me.

HAPPY EASTER YA'LL

 

 

 

 

I have been feeling AWESOME! It's kind of silly when I read my last post in March and I really felt beaten down. Lately I don't feel like that at all. I feel happy.

 

I am not dating someone. I definitely don't need to be in a relationship to complete me. The only relationship I need for me right now is me. Nicely said, if I do say so myself.

 

I found my will and my motivation. I am deliriously ecstatic and about freakin' time!

 

I will be honest, I had to restart LCHF on Monday, March 23, 2015.  The main reason I got right down serious was my right knee was hurting me. I already have knee problems with my left knee after the care accident in December 2012.

 

This scared me straight, the last thing I want to be is a nuisance to my 13 year daughter or my family who already has to deal with so many other things in their life. I do not want to be another add onto their shoulders. I don't want to be an invalid and I want to be able to appreciate my days.

 

I been keeping a journal with me and jotting down little things that I have experienced throughout the first week.

 

 

 

Excuse the chicken scratch... This is what I felt the day before I started, I wrote everything that I was experiencing the day before I restarted my LCHF adventure.

The worsted moment I had on Monday was "The Headache!" The worst headache ever, I felt as if my brain was going to burst. It was terrible. Temptation was STRONG and I was so tired, energy was at its lowest.

 

Compare today and I feel energetic, and relax and dare I say HAPPY again. My knee is definitely so much better compared to the 22 of March.

 

Before I rant anymore, I'll say "Until next time."

Not A Good Day

It's one of those days when shit happens and I feel the weight on my shoulders. I'm feeling stressed.... Why, oh, why can't I get a break?

Day 81 did not go as planned, it was a fail. I am feeling like a LOSER. Kicking myself on why can't I just get this whole eating LCHF right. Not in the zone right now.

A good "Shake It OFF!" might be what I need to do to let go of this day. There is always tomorrow. It's not an all or nothing kind of game. I'll just take a deep breath and let go of my tension.

This is great. 

82 Day Challenge Begins

82 Day Challenge Begins Today

 

I was strick with my carbohydrate intake today. I was feeling exhausted and I slept the majority of the day. I didn't go to work because of my cold.

 

 

This is what my view was when I wasn't sleeping... tissue for my poor nose, a pen and notebook just incase I had a brilliant idea and the remote to watch television. I only used the tissue. I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to watch Food Network channel.

 

Tomorrow I head back to work and try to stay on my LCHF plan. I'm still exhausted so I'm calling it a night.

 

 

 

 

 

My 82 Day Challenge

I've seen better days. I have had one hell of a weekend being sick. I am wishing for my nose to completely die off. I sound nasal and I have to breath through my mouth. Feverish and exhausted, I don't think I'll make an appearance at work tomorrow, especially if I can't get rid of this cold by tonight.

I had high hopes to fill you in on my exciting challenge this morning, but I couldn't get out of bed to head out to the family room to get on the computer. I'm still in bed, I just happened to remember that I have a laptop that has been put away in storage, so I quickly dug it out for a nightly post.

I am officially announcing my 82 DAY CHALLENGE to be inspired by fat. The reason behind this challenge is in 82 days, my best friend and her daughter, and myself and my daughter will be traveling to Colorado Springs, Colorado and it looks like one hell of a walking-kind-of-trip and I for one do not want to be exhausted or feel that I can't push through the day. I'll need energy and I'll need to have my legs to be strong for any kind of distance. I don't want to disappoint myself or any one else on our trip. I'm excited about this trip and it renews my motivation to restart my journey from scratch.

#82DAYCHALLENGE

Start Date: March 2, 2015
End Date:  May 22, 2015

My daily carb count will be under 50 to 20 grams of carbs.
My fat intake will be high.
My protein will be minimal.
I will log my meals. Plan my meals.

My kryptonite is:
BREAD
SODA
SWEETS

My choice of beverage is water.

This is so true, and I'm up for the challenge.