Relaxing

Day 55 is a bit slow, but going well. I am preparing for my weigh in tomorrow. No negative thoughts! No disappointments! I need to keep striving toward eating healthy! Strive to working out! Strive to keep preparing daily.

I'm just going to finish enjoying my Saturday. I'm going to catch up on reading my many favorite blogs and check out new recipes to add in next week. I need to start cooking new veggies. That's the new goal I need to focus on starting tomorrow.

Despite Good Intentions

day of my challenge and it was going good until Mark's parents took us out for an early birthday dinner for Mark. I knew I wouldn't or couldn't be trusted to go out to a restaurant and find the healthiest thing on the menu. I even used the online menu to find the best option for me to choose from and low and behold things were high in fat content and high calories. I refused to make a big deal, after all it was Mark's choice to eat at an Orlando's Italian restaurant for his birthday dinner.

I do want to brag about my salad and ranch dressing. I probably used a teaspoon of ranch to drizzle on my salad and I kid you not... I still had my container fill and very pleased with myself! I did only eat only half of my "Uncle Louie's Chicken Caldo" pasta dinner. I had one delicious bite of cheese cake and one delicious bit of chocolate rum cake and vanilla ice cream. I think it's safe to say I had more calories than I wanted despite good intention by looking on the website for a healthy alternative.

Tomorrow I'll have to keep it up a notch so that I can work off calories!

Prepare or Fail

I'm winding down day 57... it's been one of those days when I haven't planned or prepared well.

Not being prepared can set me up for a downward spiral. Eating "crap" for the day is not a way of eating healthy. I didn't have any lunch prepared, because I forgot to prepare the night before and couldn't think quick enough this morning. I had lunch at daycare. I tried to behave myself and measure out (eye balling) my serving of chicken Alfredo, corn, and a roll. Can you say carbs and starches?

 What was the end result? I was too full! I felt my good mood slip into tired and full coma. I almost... almost caved into opening Cheetos Puffs, but I didn't. That Cheetos bag called me so loud that I had to step away A.S.A.P!

I didn't snack either, but I have had hungry thoughts of what I would cook tonight and the first thought that came into mind was something fat and full of carbs to take care of my hunger, but that was just crazy talk. Annaleigh and I headed to the grocery store and picked up rotisserie chicken, veggies and fruits. Supper was decent and delicious.

My walking DVD that my mother purchase for me yesterday came in good use. I really worked up a sweat and my face was super flushed! Sweating not the sexiest thing in the world on me, but I felt good and so did my aching legs!

I'm off to bed.... I hope!

Sleepless In Texas

Day



 I'm soooo tired! I have been having some sleepless nights and it's finally catching up with me! You might say I'm a bit grumpy and my family needs to be tiptoeing a little around me.

I can't figure out why I am not able to sleep at night. I have laid off the caffeine and I'm working out. I'm not stressed out and not worrying over anything much, except my weight other than that, I don't know what could be the problem.

I'm going to have to figure this out, before I go a little crazy.  So please excuse me for not sounding like myself. Tomorrow will have to be different or else!



Donut Danger Avoided!

Yes I'm feeling PROUD! The main reason is I beat sabotage.

 It wasn't intentional, but nonetheless, it was an evil thing to do! When I walked into work the first thing I notice was Jack and Jill donut boxes; chocolate and glazed donuts to be specific! Of course glazed donuts being my favorite donut in the world! Yes, simple things like glazed donuts give me pleasure, but I politely refused and tried to keep my mind occupied with other thoughts while my co-worker scarfed one down. She's thin, she can afford a donut or two!

I beat sabotage, it's worth repeating!

Yesterday evening I worked out to a DVD. I was in the mood and felt like using my weights. You can imagine how I feel today... S-O-R-E! My abs and my legs are screaming at me and boy I'm listening!

I'm feeling great and so happy I'm made healthy choices today despite temptation surrounding me! Oh and just to let you know, I have a soda can in my fridge that I brought from my parents on Sunday and I haven't touched it. This is great! I'm using it as a reminder that I can deal without it, even if it's in my fridge. Silly I know, but water has been the ONLY beverage I have been drinking, so I'm trying to keep it up!

Let The 60 Day Challenge Begin

I was late getting up this morning, but my workout was done!

As you know today I began my "Girls just want to have fun" Vacation Challenge!

I have decided that 25 lbs is a decent amout of weight loss during this challenge. It's not going overboard like being on the Biggest Loser and not an unhealthy goal. I'll take a weekly picture, so beware it's not very pretty. Caution your eyes and let's hope for the best!

Front View

Side View

Not happy posting these pictures up, but it needed it to be done. I'll have a weekly picture up and maybe I'll be able to see changes. I'll keep weighing in weekly and I'll do my best to blog daily giving myself some love or a swift kick in the butt, which ever is necessary!



Keeping It Simple

Guess what?

I finally started on my Week 6 workout... two weeks late, but I'm trying to push past this crazy path of failure!

I have made very good choices today with my eating. It's a good sign. I feel like I'm bringing back my mojo! You know that thing that hypes this weight loss of mine toward motivation!

I have reminded myself that I need to take my lunch to work and to be prepared for those moments of weakness. A plan would be great! I just need to figure one out.

Let's not forget starting mornings with a healthy breakfast! I need to keep walking, after looking at the weekly forecast, I have nothing to complain about.... in the 80's, some clouds, 30% chance a rain for tomorrow, but definitely nothing to worry myself over.

A while back I said I was heading to Vegas with my sister and friends. Starting tomorrow will be 60 days til my "Girls just want to have fun" vacation! It's time to get serious and set a goal for myself to accomplish. I know it's hard to believe, especially when I'm setting simple goals earlier and couldn't reach them, but I have to do something; anything... I so want to see changes. I want people to see them. I'm tired of being a failure. So here it goes. Tomorrow the 60 day count down begins. I pray for focus and determination!

No kidding!

In Need Of A Pep Talk

Washed Out?

I don't get it, just yesterday I was bragging about this amazing, unexpected walk in the rain and today I don't have an ounce of energy in me! What's going on with me?

I know if I look back and read some of my posts over the course of when I first started working out, I can tell a huge difference in attitude and my mood. I have no choice, but to recognize exercise for what it really is to me... a mood enhancer. Working out is my energy drink!

So why haven't I gotten my butt back into morning gear? I don't get me sometimes! Last week my excuse was spring break with my daughter, this week's excuse is I'm not sleeping good. I'm on a roll, I have more to confess. I haven't been taking my lunch, or eating breakfast, or cooking at home. Let's not forget tracking my meals.

Taking a break? From what? Reaching success; for actually living a healthy lifestyle. Why do I keep trying to hold myself back and so readily willing to drop new great habits at the drop of a hat? If I had a friend asking me this...

I would tell her...

Change has always been your fear. You need to get past that! It's better said than done, I know, but when are you going to come to terms that you feel great about yourself when you do something good for your body. Do you really want to have all these health problems and have Annaleigh think she'll have to take care of you? Do you really want her to follow in your footsteps to being fat? Come on, Christine, you have to accept change, if anything haven't you notice with every change that has come your way, life is so much better. You smile so much more! You worry less! You can count on me being there for you! Whenever, anytime; I got your back! You need me to tell you to stop being scared, fine! Enough is enough, embrace change, accept change, take change and make you a better you! It's inside, it's time to show the outside world what you're capable of being and living! Leave the past, it was rough, but that's what you do, you've dealt and you can't let it rule you anymore. No more knock downs, or feeling sorry for yourself. You get up and get moving. Show Annaleigh that her mom is great at finishing something with enthusiasm! Make her realize everything is possible!

And that is what I would tell myself! I didn't know I had it in me, but there I have it!

A Walk In The Rain

So the most unexpected moment happened today.

10 minutes left to go get Annaleigh from tutoring and my car wouldn't start! Of all days, why today? When it has been raining almost all day and the wind was strong and cold and let's not forget, no sun! No point in calling anyone for a quick ride, everyone would be at least 10 to 15 minutes away, so I high-tailed it out of my house with two umbrellas.

With droplets of rain splattering on my face, I walked and thought there would be no need for the umbrella due to the cold wind. I walked as fast as I could, hoping to get there on time and worried I wouldn't, because I have never been one to make it to the school in 10 minutes walking, but I didn't want to worry Annaleigh with my absence, because I'm never late and always parked upfront. I ignored the cold wind and the wetness on my face. I walked faster with a little shin pain, but I didn't dare stop.

I prayed to the Big Guy upstairs to let the rain stop and have the sun come out to shine just so Annaleigh wouldn't have to walk in this cold wet day. I arrived at the school in 8 minutes. Whew! That's a record in itself! She was surprise that we had to walk home, but guess what? The rain had stop and as we started walking the sun that hadn't been out all day, peeked out of the clouds! Call it coincidence or call it a small prayer answered, I am certainly thankful!!!

My unexpected moment was when I realized I had walked today. I had thought that for sure I wouldn't walk today, because it was cold, windy and a rainy day. I wouldn't have thought twice about it, but now I realize it didn't kill me and I don't have the sniffles and so very glad I had to get out and have a walk in the rain!

Funny thing is ... I just tried starting my car and the freakin' thing started with no problem what-so-ever!

A Proud Walk

My morning began with... OMG! What time is it? AND... I need to get up quick.... or something like that. I forget, but unmistakeably not a happy girl!

My morning workout didn't happen as you can guess, but I did something earlier this evening... I walked, and walked. Actually, I walked a mile and a half. I'm very proud of the small step to adding more to my walking routine. It felt good. I was in this zone and I wanted to accomplish something positive, which I did. I feel good and tired; tired in a good way. I'm ready to lay down and sleep like a baby.
But before I hit the sack, a few words that seem to kick it into high gear!

This just sounds great... it gives me some umph! (Pep in my step!)

Reflection

Today I noticed my imperfection and at the Mall of all places. I thought I'd take Annaleigh to the Mall so we could get some spring clothes for her and maybe some for me too. We arrived 20 minutes before the stores opened and I thought it would be a great time to walk the Mall.
We walked the whole mall a few times and every time I would catch a glimpse of my reflection and I didn't like what I saw starring back at me. Backside was just fine, and I actually admired the booty... not bad.

I looked closer and thought to see if my hair was still in place, looking at myself I looked like I was struggling to keep my shoulders up right; I looked like I was carry so much weight in front that I was looking like a fat person. Does that make sense?

 I know I'm fat, but looking in the reflection of myself, I looked as if I was uncomfortable and struggling to walk. I was unnerved by how my reflection made me feel right at that moment. Sadness and anger were quick to jump right in with my sudden resentment at my reflection.

How do I make this better? It isn't as I've never seen myself naked before, this was just different. The feelings were there and in chaos! Now, how do I move on and get over it? I refuse to punish myself and use food to make me feel better for a brief moment. I need to realize that someday I won't look like the woman who was struggling today in the reflection. It's my future goal to not look like that woman ever again!

Take A Walk

Took a week off my morning workouts for spring break and my sudden change in my work schedule...

Sounds like EXCUSES, and EXCUSES, and more EXCUSES!

This time change is really kicking my butt; even as I type this post out... I'm yawning! Waking up is such a challenge. My routine has been off course and I just need to get back on track. No excuses!

What should be a great incentive to losing weight is that I'm heading to Vegas with my sister, Audrey and my friends, Pam and Lauren in May; call it a "Girls just wanna have fun!" kinda weekend getaway! I know we'll do lots of walking and I need to keep moving! I need to try to up my mile to miles! I have never been one to do more than a mile, but I'm Psyched up for this new goal! Walking miles now this is asking for some NEW SHOES. I'm serious when it comes to getting new shoes. A new mission to find the RIGHT pair of walking shoes!

Ready to walk the walk!

Spring Foward

Spring your clock forward... yikes... I hate time changes! I always feel so tired until I get use to it and then it changes again on me.

Today's weigh in is good, it's a two pound loss and it's nice, but I've been here before, several times in fact the past year and then I jump right back just as easily. I'm more than a little nervous! So how do I keep myself from screwing up success once again? I don't want to rethink this, but neither do I want to fail again. This is my theme of late and I'm really tired of it!!!

I can't move forward until I know I can love myself, through all the ups and downs! Here we go... more pep in my step... springing forward with a positive attitude!

Celebrating Morning Workouts

T.G.I.F. WoooHooo! Please let this weekend stay long, slow and lovely! Spring Break for the kiddo! She's getting ready to shut down her learning process, like most kids, but this mom has another idea about that!

I'm ending my fifth week of working out! Which means 5 weeks ago I actually decided to get up early which seemed holy impossible for me! I thought I was doom to be one of those people who was just always tired and would never be able to commit to early morning workouts! Guess what I did! I just want to take a moment and enjoy this; a moment of silence......................................................................

Nice. Cheesy I know!

I feel great this morning. I woke up this morning and my back didn't ache and my knees didn't hurt! I just feel like I can tackle anything, but I won't push myself just yet, in case I'm being delusional!

Words of wisdom....

Couldn't have said it better, speaking of butts, mine is sore... just sayin'.

Hungry Moment

What to say about yesterday ... except all I wanted to do was eat! I did good in the morning I had only two pieces of French toast sticks and a little bit of syrup and ate my lunch I brought from home. Supper consisted of frozen burritos, but I had been hungry even before. I tried to tame my hunger by having a little snack. It helped for about 30 minutes only. I was still hungry after dinner; I drank water to see if I was thirsty instead, but I was just hungry! My stomach growled, I tried to distract myself by doing other things; helping with Annaleigh's homework, going online to see if I could make sense of how and why I was feeling like this, but I finally ate, but still it feels like a huge step back! I don't understand why I felt like that! I literally felt like I was starving!

It's a moment like that, I feel like failure is creeping its way back into my new positive look on eating better!

I just need to keep being positive....

This says it all...

Tackling The Day

My soreness is back! I didn't go for my one mile walk yesterday due to dirt and high winds here in West Texas, so Annaleigh convinced me to get off the recliner and play the Wii with her. Once she got me started on Just Dance 3, I danced my booty off! Ooohhhhhhh! I'm not great, but not bad either!

Yesterday at work, lunch consisted of CHICKEN SPAGHETTI... oh I love this dish! It's one that I request every so often, except this time. I didn't touch the mouth watering chicken spaghetti; not even a taste! This is a HUGE mile stone in itself! I ate my sandwich and orange instead and really got full! I know it doesn't sound as good as chicken spaghetti, but that could be another time when I find a healthier version to make at home.

Off to work to tackle the day!

I thought this appropriate for the month of March... here's to getting it done!

Now I'm not going to look like that... that's not my goal, but the promises are there that I intend to conquer!

One Mile

Yesterday I walked a mile. I know one mile may seem like nothing, but to me it's something. BIG. It means I'm getting my behind in gear! Literally one step at a time!

I feel like I accomplished a little something and it feels good.

Today's thought...

Ready For The Day

I am red in the face and catching my breath... my workout has kicked my butt once again. I struggled to get out of bed, but so glad I got up to do the workout, because I feel so good right now!

Today I up my physical activity. I'm a little nervous, but I know it will be worth it in the end. I'm not lazy, but counting housework just doesn't qualify as upping the activity too much, especially when I might take a break here and there!

Daily Motivation...

It's a little all of the above, but getting it done is all worth it in the end!

From Negative To Positve

Still trying to figure out why I'm not losing... I'm on a mission! There could be so many reasons I'm not losing weight and of course what comes up when in my searches is hypothyroidism or PCOS to name a few. I get discouraged just as quick. It's like a no win situation. I feel like binging! I may need to add emotional eating to the list as to why I'm not losing weight!

Another thing I have noticed is my hubby is losing weight! He's lost 30 plus pounds and he's looking GOOD! I'm a little ticked off that he is a man and quickly losing the weight, but in all fairness he has given up lot of fast food, which I know is hard for him, especially when his work is driving for living. I'm very PROUD of him! It's just the jealous part of me who is not losing weight holding a little grudge!

I'm trying to decide on the next step, which direction do I need to take? I'm feeling overwhelmed again and you know what that means.... negative feedback! I'll beat myself up for awhile, but this time it's just too much focused energy on the negative!

I realize that next month will be ONE year that I will have been blogging about my weight loss journey and to tell you the truth, I feel like the biggest fraud in the world! Who starts a blog about losing weight and not lose weight? Uh, me! Could I be anymore disappointing?

I'm feeling the heat, just in case you couldn't tell...leaving the negative behind, talking a few breaths, a scream or two behind and getting myself together!!!

This week's goal is to up my physical activity level! Yes I've been working out in the morning, but not enough. It's time to give myself more activity. I know I have the energy to do more!

Last week I took my lunch all week and I'm so proud of myself. This was such a challenge for me. I just need to keep it up! I have also been tracking my meals everyday, getting a calorie count for each thing I put in my mouth. My morning workouts are on track as well. I know setting mini weekly goals may sound crazy, but I'm glad I'm taking the time to do them. I just know these smalls steps will lead me into a positive lifestyle!

Morning Pet Peeve

Workout kicked my butt this morning, but I survived!

I have a pet peeve lately about my workouts and it has to do with the hubby. Mark is home and I have been doing my workouts while he is home, but I don't want him to be in the same room with me while I do my workout. Just the thought of him watching me makes me flinch and squirm uncomfortably. I don't want him to see all the jiggles and struggles and how quickly out of breath I get by doing my workout. Oh I know he can probably hear me, but it's just not sexy at all!

It's Friday.... so glad it is, because I am ready to relax and enjoy the weekend. Pretty quick turn around this week. YAY!

Daily Motivation...

This makes me feel like I'm at least doing something and not the one who is on the couch.

It's All Good

I had a GREAT night's sleep! My morning workout is done and I feel really good! I was afraid I make the inner thigh soreness trigger pain, but it's all good too!

I did go for that walk yesterday at the park. I usually feel my calves tightened, but not yesterday. I hustled, well at least I felt like I was walking faster and not a snails pace!

I have been taking my lunch to work and have dodged Daycare Lunch at every turn, not even a bite here or there, which is great, but it takes WILLPOWER!!! I stress about my willpower at every turn when it comes to food. I just don't want to binge! I'm trying not to avoid food that I love so I'm trying to create a healthier version! Last night I wanted pizza, so I made a healthy version I had found on Pinterest, which in turn took me to Dashing Dish, which has lots of delicious dishes and I'm so trying them! It's a new favorite blog of mine!

Daily Motivation...