A Step Back

I have been accountable for myself this whole time and it pains me to admit that I fail at every turn. I need to look at this whole healthy journey at another angle. Obviously the first few times was just disappointing and completely sucks!

Step back, deep breath, exhale and re-adjust!

Inevitable Change

Terrible news today, for me it's devastating, went to the orthopedic doctor today to find out if my bruised knee is getting better from the car accident back in December. My father prediction was right, "you go in for one thing and they find something else wrong with you."

The doctor tells me I have degenerative joint arthritis of the knee. He mention my weight being one factor. He says every step I take on a stair I multiply that by 10 to my weight. That's 2,700 pounds on my knees. I'm troubled and most definitely angry with myself. I think back on my grandmother and I remember how hard it was for her to walk, in pain and at one point had to get a knee replacement. Usually degenerative joint arthritis is seen in 60 year old people, I'm 37!

How could I not see this coming? Why haven't I taken my healthy more serious? What more am I waiting for.... a heart attack? Death? I don't need or want any more signs! I need to step it up with full commitment. Nothing is going to change, if I'm not going to change.

I feel clueless, brainless, where do I start?

I'm just being overly dramatic about change. I can't start Monday for change, it needs to be today... NOW!